it's been ten years since i took the UPCAT! grabe, that day seems so far away! well, actually, it is. hello, ten years is quite some time, it's a decade! nyahahahaha... ang tanda ko na!
well, dwelling on the topic of time passing, while browsing through facebook, i noticed that quite a handful of my high school batchmates have one of the following: 1) a kid; 2) a hubby; 3) a hubby and a kid; or 4) a significant other. looking at them makes me pause and think if i am missing something.
my relationship counter is still on zero dial, hence there is no one to call my better half, let alone, an s.o.! obviously, people i know would raise an eyebrow if someone tells them that i was seen lugging around a mini-me. how could that be possible? immaculate conception? beats me.
when i look at their photos, they all seem happy. they all seem to have a certain glow about their eyes. it's as if they have found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! i would smile and feel happy for them. but after a few minutes, jealousy would rear its ugly head. jealous, not in a way that i-would-wish-them-ill-because-they-suck-all-the-happiness-in-the-world-thereby-reducing-me-into-a-pathetic-self-pitying-singleton but a bit envious because they get to live out the very best part of life right here, right now by playing out the roles that they were cut out to act on.
when bitchiness strikes, i would retort that i am not the one on the losing end. i get to go places without anyone holding me back. i get to burn money without having to feel guilty. i am not at the mercy of anyone. but these things, they lose their charm. after a while, the freedom is no longer as inviting as it used to be. you long to be tied down, to be tamed, to be owned.
but i guess, for the moment, it's for everybody else other than me. circumstances are not on my side. if it happens, then it happens but until then i will wait with bated breath.
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